dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
