You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
