I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Michael Bay diarrhea
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Randomize
