Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
