Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
