This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
