I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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