Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
