actually, I'm a sock model
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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