they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
