hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I will die if light touches me.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
