I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
