I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
