dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Someone shit on the floor
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
PANTIES FOUND
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