I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
