Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
