Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
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