The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
