Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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