I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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