That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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