Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
