am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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