I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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