She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
