I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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