Cold hands, warm shart.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Randomize
