Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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