hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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