I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
