so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
