That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
