we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
You are the jesus of drinking
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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