To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
