I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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