life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I wannas sexs uuuuu
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
