she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
