Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
