omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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