You don't have asthma, your pregnant
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
