I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
