We're like a lot better than the average bears
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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