So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
accomplished twins. life is a go
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Randomize
