i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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