chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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