first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
