She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
