Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
