I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
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