Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Randomize
