Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Can I color on your dick again?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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