It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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