so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
